"So when are you having another one"? This is the first question I am asked by family, friends, and even strangers about adding another child to my family. Coming from a very proud Mexican-American family that include extended families that have more than two children, this question is popular and asked often to me. I have asked myself this question over and over again. I have tremendous amount of respect for mothers who decide to have more than one child because not only does it take an extreme amount of energy but, also it takes a toll on the body. You need to have the desire to want another child. My reasons to have one child are selfish ones, I admit however, it is what is best for me and my son. Countless mothers in a mother's group I had participated in have told me, what is to become of my son should something happen to me or my husband? Your son would be alone. I do have to confess, that thought it is frightening but, that is where my faith and my family comes into play. My faith and family are strong enough to continue to feel that having only one child is best for me.

Trust me, I have given it a lot of thought because it is one of those decisions I don't want regret in the long run. Over course, I have thought of asking others about it, but I can't. Think about it. I can't ask others if they wish they didn't have their second or third child, that's ridiculous I can't ask. I have asked other mothers that having one child was a choice. The two answers I got were either no were still trying or there was a health reason. It is a decision that is solely dependent on me. I grew up being an only child for nine years before my brother was born. During those nine years, I never felt bored, or lonely, as a matter of fact I had a very happy upbringing because my mother always made time for me. Once I was fulfilled with my mother's love for the day, I felt confident to go, play, and be alone. In school, I never felt pressured by other friends to follow the crowd, or act a certain way because my friends were doing it. I couldn't get away with anything because my mom was all over me like melted cheese on a flour tortilla.

I have to really see what is best for me and my son. Adding an extra child to the family would mean less time for my son. He is three and still requires 100% of my time. He enjoys playing, reading, painting, swimming, watching movies, going out to eat on a moments notice, and now talking with one another. Yes, I understand millions of women still do that with two or more children, however it takes time before that can happen. I would have to be pregnant for nine months, possibly have to do bed rest. Go through a c-section again and try to heal all the while try to care for a new born and still keep up with entertaining my three year old. If I were to become pregnant, not only would I have the dreaded symptoms but, then I wouldn't be able to wrestle on the floor with my son. He wouldn't be able to climb all over me and jump into my arms like he does now because of the baby growing inside me. The bigger I get, the more tired I will become the less I will be do and go with my son. I really don't want to go through that, not just me however I don't want things to change for my son. I want to keep up with him and take care of whatever he needs.

The other side of that is that my son is a very jealous little boy. He despises it when I am holding my niece, or giving anyone my attention. He is also like that with his father. My husband also, his father cannot touch or sit next to each other. Our son will come over and sit right in between each other. Yes I know, he will get over it but, will he really. My husband and his sister are eleven years apart. He clearly remembers the change when his sister was born. He has often commented on how his parents are easier on her than they were with him growing up and still today. It's true because I have seen it but, not just with him. I have seen the difference with my own brother. Most of the things he has done I know I wouldn't of gotten away with it. I don't necessary think children really get over it. Also, many have told me your son will be lonely. No brother or sister, no one. Well, my brother now lives in Nevada, and my husband's sister lives in Florida how close do you think we really are. My mother is number nine out of ten children, she is the only one who lives in the states. So how often does she see her family? I would have to say on average once every three years.... yeah, that sounds about right. We are all doing well, far from being lonely. I hope to teach my son to be confident, well liked, and very social. Having these qualities I hope will help him always have friends never feel alone.

It takes energy, time, love, heartache, patience, sweat, and MONEY, MONEY, and more MONEY. The biggest advantage that I know our son has is that we as his parents have the financial ability to enroll him in gym, and swim classes. He also attends a preschool three days a week. Those classes are not free in fact they are very expensive. Our son attends a gym class, a once a week for forty-five minutes class. This particular class cost $78 per month per semester. His swim classes were about ninety dollars for every eight lessons. The preschool he attends three days a week from 8:30-3:00 that costs five hundred thirty dollars per month. You do the math. Not only does it take money but, guess what... it also requires parent involvement. There is no okay bye-bye I'll pick you up later. Nope, guess what? Depending on the age of the child, the parent has to be right there in the pool or right there guiding the child across the balance beam. Parent involvement and constant communication is key from a respectable preschool. Saying all of this, I honestly don't think we would be able to afford gym plus swim plus preschool times two. No way!

I am very comfortable with my decision with having one child. I must also include that being pregnant was a precious experience that I will never forget. Its one of those milestones that I am glad I did once. My reasons for only having one child is what is best for us. I have no doubt there are people that feel differently than I do and could try to argue why my only child should have a sibling, which is wonderful to have an opinion. However, it is easier to have opinions when others are on the outside looking into a personal choice.

To add your comments about this article "Click Here"